It's only natural that self-doubt creeps in. Out of all the games I played, I'll bet almost half ended with the media or the fans criticizing me. And the greatest medicine I could have ever had.įootball has taught me a lot about life. The field was a place where I felt free to be myself. My facial tics, the coughing, none of it mattered as long as I stopped the ball from ending up in the back of my net. By now, everyone knows I have obsessive compulsive disorder and Tourette's syndrome. Maybe it will hit me next March, when everything starts up again, and instead of standing in the net, I'm sitting on the couch.įrom as early as I can remember, football was always the great equalizer. ![]() But for now, it feels like the end of every other season. And not once do I remember feeling sad or thinking, "This is it." I'm sure it will all hit me at some point. Talk about a fairy tale.Īfter the game, I hosted a party with about 100 friends and family. And I was able to share it all with my son, my daughter and my mom. There were the tributes from so many players and coaches from throughout my career: Rio Ferdinand, Carlos Bocanegra, Landon Donovan, David Moyes, the list goes on. I think it was the best warm-up I have ever had. 29, my three best friends from New Jersey - guys I've known since grade school - sat behind the goal during warm-ups. At my last home game in Colorado on Sept. I've seen it with teammates and friends: Their contract isn't renewed. But look, most of the time in sports you don't get to choose your ending. They wonder if I'm having second thoughts. Just like that, 22 years had come to an end. Before stepping across the end line, I paused, said a brief prayer, kissed my gloves and pointed to the sky. ![]() Sunday afternoon in Los Angeles, after a 3-1 loss to LAFC that officially ended our Colorado Rapids season, I walked off the field as a professional football player for the 815th and very last time. You have reached a degraded version of because you're using an unsupported version of Internet Explorer.įor a complete experience, please upgrade or use a supported browser
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